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[muse] A Certain Disposition - Transience Divine
March 26th, 2007
01:09 am

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[muse] A Certain Disposition
Weekend: Salon-Party a fabulous success (*pirouette*); eclectic group, fluidly bubbling with conversation groups on everything. Great time at Black Rose Ball; I *love* dance and meeting women. Huge snow-storm audience at the Rocky show; I was delirious except for when padfootwhore was being mean to me (no matter-- I spewed Acid on her later).

I write this slathered in salt grains. I feel a flare for demonstracity, and I'm playing with it.

Someone recently quoted, "Only people of a certain disposition are frightened of being alone for the rest of their lives at the age of 26." For me, more than resigned to the possibility, I want to embrace it. Not because good women are difficult to find. I go on dates sometimes, but my life isn't the kind of thing that most people would be interested in joining in on.

I intend to live hard. And not in a nice way-- my life will leave my mind twisted, my soul tortured, and my body wasted. I'll live poor and over-worked. I won't settle in anywhere. I'll only get weirder with age. I'll always be obsessed with projects that only a mother could love, and my relationship will never be the most important thing in my life.

I mentioned this to my philosophical father. He suggested that swallow-the-keys commitment might have more for me than I was considering. Life with another person forces one to confront one's flaws. And I want that, but I hope friends can give it to me (that's where you come in).

I'm very comfortable with my flaws, or my rate of progress in working on them. They rarely bother me, but I know some of them bother other people. And the flaws that affect other people don't directly affect me, so it's easy for me to just not notice them.

So my question to anyone who thinks they have any part of an answer: What are my worst flaws?

Any answer would be doing me an honor, so don't worry about protecting my ego or mis-flawing me. You won't hurt me, and I want to know however my flaws appear, and I'll worry about whether they are at-bottom how they manifested themselves to you. Give as much detail as possible (and specific grievances, if you remember them). Thank you!

Current Music: Maybe there's nothing up in the sky but air

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From:asmodai
Date:March 26th, 2007 05:28 am (UTC)
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I’ve felt, since our third real conversation (and very specifically the third, and NOT during either of the first two) that you have been trying to niche me. I’ve gotten the distinct impression that you’ve tried to predict my actions and thoughts, and calculate the route of my train of thought. It irritates me immensely.
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From:jrising
Date:March 26th, 2007 05:56 am (UTC)
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I had no idea-- thank you, this is definitely something I want to think about. For what it's worth, I have a lot of respect for you, and I don't think I have much basis for expecting anything of your thoughts or actions. BTW, was our third real conversation the one when I was really high at Diana's?
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From:padfootwhore
Date:March 26th, 2007 09:56 am (UTC)
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Excuse me. When I'm mean to you, I'm pretty sure you warrant it. Both you and Adam deserved getting picked on, and you hardly count for lights anymore as you're acting, so it has to get doubled (my picking on you) as you aren't there as often. So nyeh. And spewed Acid on me? Hm, is that what that was?
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From:jrising
Date:March 26th, 2007 04:43 pm (UTC)
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You picking on me wouldn't be a problem if I didn't enjoy it so much. And you can take the other however you want. I meant it-- you're fantastic, and I hope you know it. a_c_i_d would have been able to say it better.
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From:ah42
Date:March 26th, 2007 10:12 am (UTC)
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I have a great amount of respect for you, your thoughts, and your chosen lifestyle. From where I stand in my own life, I find it hard to find flaw with you. Perhaps it's one of perspective, but I think I could stand to learn a great deal from you.
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From:jrising
Date:March 27th, 2007 02:03 am (UTC)
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I really appreciate that, though I certainly know there are ways that you've impressed me with things I still aspire to.
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From:d_day
Date:March 26th, 2007 02:44 pm (UTC)

Not what you're asking for At ALL

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"I intend to live hard. And not in a nice way-- my life will leave my mind twisted, my soul tortured, and my body wasted. I'll live poor and over-worked. I won't settle in anywhere. I'll only get weirder with age. I'll always be obsessed with projects that only a mother could love, and my relationship will never be the most important thing in my life."

This is a big part of why I'm motivated to get to know you better. Just an FYI
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From:jrising
Date:March 27th, 2007 02:15 am (UTC)

Re: Not what you're asking for At ALL

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That means a lot to me, coming from you. I want to get to know you better too.
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