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Read Between My Lines, or Cognitive Disodence - Transience Divine
May 10th, 2007
03:15 am

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Read Between My Lines, or Cognitive Disodence
    yes and how he kissed me under the Moorish wall and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes

I want try going by Jim. I love the name Jimmy; it laughs at itself. But it crosses a line of social convention that I'm always struggling with: we are shaped, both in other people's eyes and our own, by the labels we use. That nickname is a bit of playful eccentricity I use for myself, but it paints me in a childish hue. Anyhow, I want to bow to convention and see if it hurts my back or, as is possible, makes it stronger.

It’s an experiment in some shifting thoughts I’m working through. I'm not going to write the core of those thoughts (mostly because I don’t know what the core is), but here's a snapshot of one facet.

I'm a creature of ambiguity. If there's a line somewhere, I'll try my best to tightrope it. One reflection of this is how I try to do everything at once-- or rather, everything, in parallel. My full todo list is about 400 items long, and fuzzily scheduled halfway through next year. Every day I work on a dozen independent projects, fully expecting that I won't finish most of them for years, if ever. And I try to maintain several prospective romantic interests, even when that's an obstacle in getting into any woman's pants or heart. It’s helping me learn to flirt better and I'm getting to know so many incredible women. I'm frustrated that it makes me talk big and act small, but it's fun playing with those insecurities.

And I love living this way; I wouldn't want life to be any different. But all these balancing acts make me awfully ineffective. Which is another piece I'm okay with... mostly. All together, I take it too far. I had a great idea for a music creator the other day-- it could revolutionize electronic music, but I'll never have time to work on it.

I need a sidekick. Not the little electronic ones-- I need a person to tag along with me like the guy who follows Cramer around and records all his projects. There we'd be at the south pole, and he'd say, "Holy samosas, Jimmy! It would take a miracle to stop this iceshelf from caving into the ocean." "Wait Robin," I'd say dramatically, "I have an idea-- get me a keyboard and a bit of straw." Now hiring. Compensation based on experience. And you get to help me build a bat cave.

Current Music: I'll split them right down the middle. / Gonna cut them right up in half.

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From:richenza
Date:May 10th, 2007 02:23 pm (UTC)
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I'm a little busy to be your sidekick, and personally I have a hard time thinking of you as Jimmy. I'm a little too used to you being Myndroh.

When you take over the world, though, if you need a personal chef give me a call.
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From:jrising
Date:May 10th, 2007 05:54 pm (UTC)
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*grin* Myndroh is fine! Some day I might decide to change my SCA name, but maybe not until I start needing a personal chef.
From:diagonti
Date:May 10th, 2007 04:16 pm (UTC)
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Have you considered going by James? It has a certain traditional formality that is more of change then going from jimmy to jim.

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From:richenza
Date:May 10th, 2007 04:39 pm (UTC)
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hmmm... diagonti is onto something here.

You definitely look more like a "James" than a "Jim". The people I know who go by Jim tend to have buzz-cuts and pick-up trucks. Just saying.
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From:richenza
Date:May 10th, 2007 04:43 pm (UTC)
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Oh, my god. I just realized. I can't be Robin, because I am Alfred.
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From:jrising
Date:May 10th, 2007 07:47 pm (UTC)
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Maybe. It sounds awfully strange to me, and I don't think I want formality, but I could get used to it.
From:diagonti
Date:May 10th, 2007 08:04 pm (UTC)
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Why are you considering the name change? What is it that you are seeking?

James may be the option that makes you most in to making that change as it is the one that clearly reminds you that it is a change.

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From:jrising
Date:May 11th, 2007 07:54 pm (UTC)
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I don't have any lofty goals with changing my name, but it seems like little changes can have big effects-- on how others treat me and how I see myself-- and I've heard enough people suggest changing my name that I think I should try it.
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From:revolos55
Date:May 10th, 2007 09:14 pm (UTC)
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But... but... you're Jimmy! How am I supposed to give up saying "It's a Jeemmy! Hi a Jeemmy!"?
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From:conana
Date:May 10th, 2007 11:54 pm (UTC)
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Two or three years ago, I would have signed on for that position in a heartbeat. I think I have enough projects for the next decade or two, but designing a bat cave sounds fun.
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