Imaginary Gardens with Real Toads - Transience Divine — LiveJournal
Imaginary Gardens with Real Toads|
|Date:||September 26th, 2007 07:05 am (UTC)|| |
You're right, and on one level I know that. What I consider sexy in others is so much a function of attitude, character, *intellect*, that I can hardly expect other people-- at least, most of the ones I'm interested in-- to do otherwise.
But at least for me, I feel like it is a kind bait-and-switch. I approach dating and everything that goes with it as an intellectual. When I flirt, I'm constantly thinking about what I can say to make the person I'm with laugh or feel good or think well of me. And while that comes out of my whole character, it's also fairly disconnected from it. I don't think I present a false impression of myself, but I think it's very easy to appear as what I do, rather than what I am.
The body represents to me much more than appearances-- I mean by it, "what I am" outside of my reason. Having strong feelings and a strong connection with one's body seem to me to be very important, and have a kind of primacy and immediacy that's important in relationships. What I infer from people's reactions ("robot", "queen") is that there's a radical disconnect between my presentation (how I come across) and my sexuality. I'm working on that, but I'm not there yet. And I don't mind not being there-- intellectually, I think I understand my emotions and sexuality very well, and I'm sure that eventually that will work its way into my manifested character.
Does that make any more sense? By the way, I love the idea of Johnny Depp showing up on your doorstep! Good luck with that.
I love the idea of Johnny Depp showing up on your doorstep! Good luck with that.
Conceptually, so do I. :) Of course, I'm pretty sure that I'm pretty safe!