Workman Publishing Company
Attn: Editorial Department
225 Varick Street
New York, NY 10014-4381
To whom it may concern:
I was thrilled when I recently encountered the book How to Make Your Man Behave in 21 Days or Less Using the Secrets of Successful Dog Trainers, by Karen Salmansohn, and published by Workman Publishing. I am interested in producing a sister self-help book, to help men use modern dog training techniques on the women in their lives. As both a professional dog trainer with over ten years experience and a blogger on relationship issues with thousands of devoted readers, I believe I am uniquely qualified to produce this work.
I worry that many men, hoping to help their own women learn to behave, have purchased Ms. Salmansohn's book, only to realize that her approach does not apply equally well to women. While women are like dogs in many unexpected ways, the techniques used for dogs must be translated differently. Mistranslating those techniques can result in adverse reactions and ill-mannered or absent women. Done correctly and with the most modern, sophisticated dog-training secrets, even beginners can produce obedient and dutiful women in 21 days or less! I am happy to say that I have used these techniques personally and helped many others use them to stop their women from misbehaving, talking-back, or running away.
Below is a tenable chapter listing for this sister volume:
Introduction: Biology and learning to see your lovers as a dog
1. Purebreds and Mutts: The two breeds of women and how to judge them
2. Going to the Pound: Finding women whose history and habits make her easy to train
3. Basic Housebreaking: Woman-proofing your house, locks, cages, and learned helplessness
4. Punishments and Rewards: The "outbursts and forgiveness" approach to bad behavior
5. Learning to Beg: The joys of submissiveness and showing her who is the "big dog"
6. Sit and Shake: Training your woman to please you in bed
7. Roll Over and Play Dead: Using conditioned women for your financial success
8. How to Put Her Down: Techniques when you are ready for a new pet
9. The Joy of Kennels: How to keep several women in your home
If you would like, I can produce a sample chapter or the introduction, but I am prepared to enter a contract and begin the book immediately. I believe that I can complete this work in approximately six months, and my financial needs are flexible.
I look forward to working with you soon!
(Here's the scanned letter, for the post when they reply!)